The Dickiest Mayoral Campaign Ever

Circumcision

The media left Weiner alone this week to focus on the Christine Quinn-Bill Thompson feud over racism.  Circumcision also played a key role in the campaign this week, with some candidates backing the controversial practice of mohels using their mouths to suck blood from the severed penis, LOL.  Making this the dickiest week in the campaign yet.  Homophobic chants were also part of the mix.  And it would not be New York without a little threat of violence thrown in via blood-smeared letters sent to a campaign and ricin-laden letters sent to the current occupant of City Hall.  This week's installment of the "New York City Mayoral Candidates Power Standings (or something like that)" sees Anthony Weiner holding on to the top spot but losing ground fast as Christine rises one spot to second place.  John Liu drops one spot to third.  Bill de Blasio drops two spots to fifth as Bill Thompson rises to fourth from fifth.  In the minor candidates' race, Sal Albanese falls two spots while Randy Credico rises four.  All of last week's greatest moments are recorded and tallied up to see who really leads in the race to be crowned King (or Queen) of New York.  We will also be incorporating some of your recommended point allocations from the previous week.

Anthony WeinerAnthony Weiner

  • Avoids answering question on circumcisionMinus 5.
  • Avoids headline: Weiner on Wieners.  Plus 10.
  • Waffles on tobaccoMinus 50.
  • Parents vow to start a campaign against himMinus 5.
  • Scandal from the past reemergesMinus 10.
  • This week's total: -60.
  • Cumulative total: 360.


Christine QuinnChristine Quinn


John LiuJohn Liu

  • Says city cannot afford retroactive raises for municipal labor unions.  Honest.  Plus 10.
  • Supports metzitzah b'pehMinus 100.
  • This week's total: -90.
  • Cumulative total: 304.


Bill ThompsonBill Thompson


Bill de BlasioBill de Blasio


John CatsimatidisJohn Catsimatidis


George McDonaldGeorge McDonald

  • Says city cannot afford retroactive raises for municipal labor unions.  Honest.  Plus 10.
  • This week's total: 10.
  • Cumulative total: 18.


Randy CredicoRandy Credico

  • Supports reinstituting the stock transfer tax.  Actually, this tax exists, the state simply returns the money after it has collected it.  I assume he wants to get rid of that peculiar practice.  Plus 250.
  • This week's total: 250.
  • Cumulative total: -185.


Joe LhotaJoe Lhota

  • Says city cannot afford retroactive raises for municipal labor unions.  Honest.  Plus 10.
  • Received Conservative Party endorsement, thus guaranteeing a spot on the November ballot.  Plus 100.
  • Giuliani adMinus 100.
  • This week's total: 10.
  • Cumulative total: -272.


Sal AlbaneseSal Albanese

  • Is ambivalent towards metzitzah b'pehMinus 150.
  • Accuses both Quinn and Thompson of race baitingZero.
  • This week's total: -150.
  • Cumulative total: -315.


Michael BloombergMichael Bloomberg

  • Receives two threatening letters laced with ricinMinus 5.
  • Urged alumni of Cooper Union to give back to their school.  Does not realize not everyone is a billionaire like himself.  Minus 50.
  • Cooper Union graduating students turn their backs to him.  Minus 50.
  • This week's total: -105.
  • Cumulative total: -445.


Erick SalgadoErick Salgado


Question markAdolfo CarriĆ³n


Jimmy McMillanJimmy McMillan

  • No news all week.  Minus 10.
  • This week's total: -10.
  • Cumulative total: -940.


Bloody pants image courtesy of Elvert Barnes.
Christine Quinn image courtesy of Boss Tweed.
John Liu image courtesy of A Abreu.
Bill de Blasio image courtesy of Henry Gass.
Anthony Weiner image courtesy of istolethetv.
Bill Thompson image courtesy of Edwin Martinez.
Sal Albanese image courtesy of Heather Martino.
Joe Lhota image courtesy of Metropolitan Transportation Authority of the State of New York.
Erick Salgado image courtesy of JacobNY.
Michael Bloomberg image courtesy of Dean Meyers.
Jimmy McMillan image courtesy of David Shankbone.
Question mark image courtesy of William Brawley.

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22 comments


Avatar of BigBlueBenBigBlueBen
June 5th, 2013  11:55 PM

What the hell? This is the most absurd campaign, and I wish I was in NY to witness it.



Avatar of MyNameIsMeMyNameIsMe
June 6th, 2013  12:09 AM

Dude, that picture is so uncool.



Avatar of MyNameIsMeMyNameIsMe
June 6th, 2013  12:18 AM

I see almost no serious issues debated here. Is this really what the campaign is like?



Avatar of The Livid LibrarianThe Livid Librarian
June 6th, 2013  9:38 AM

There is enough material in that first paragraph to make an amazing Woody Allen movie.



Avatar of sarahbsarahb
June 6th, 2013  10:41 AM

I suppose Henry is on the anti-circumcision side of the debate.



Avatar of FlossyFlossy
June 6th, 2013  11:29 AM

The book, a slim hardcover with a larger-than-average font, is being released a month later than first announced.

This was brutal.