Fri Feb 1, 2013
10:30 AM

Newspapers or Oldspapers?

The New York papers are known for their ability to convey the day's most significant news in an eloquent and pithy manner.  We here at Dateline Headline will be comparing the headlines of the major New York papers and keep a running tally of the best.  Newspapers will be awarded from zero to ten points.  Click on the headlines to see an image of each paper's front page.  Can you do better than the New York papers?  Place your headline of the day below.

Ah, newspapers.  So outdated, so untimely.  One of the city's most storied mayors passes, but the papers have already gone to print.  He will have to make the next news cycle.  In the age of internet there is no "Extra!  Extra!  Read all about it!"  That costs money.  So all the headlines are about nothing at all.

5.  Newsday - CUOMO ARBITRATION PLAN / CAP THE RAISES
Newsday's plan must be to have the least outrageous, least witty headlines for the year.  Points awarded: 0.

4.  The New York Times - Timbuktu Endured Terror Under Harsh Shariah Law / Militants Hounded Women, Razed Tombs and Cut Off Hands During Reign
No serial comma, no points.  Points awarded: 0.

3.  New York Post - DAN'S BAWL GAME / Hid baby from CBS amid big $$
Who cares?  A point for the pun, or should I say punt?  Points awarded: 1.

2.  Daily News - COLLARS FOR DOLLARS / OUTRAGE: Cops got extras to nab 'illegals'
Sad story, points for pun.  Points awarded: 2.

1.  The Wall Street Journal - U.S. Sues to Block Big Beer Merger
Points for meter.  Points awarded: 2.

Newspaper Today's Points Total Points
The Wall Street Journal 2 57
Daily News 2 48
New York Post 1 46
The New York Times 0 38
Newsday 0 21

THE TAG GALLERY:

THE SHARE QUACKERY:


9 comments


Avatar of sarahbsarahb
February 1st, 2013  10:42 AM

No late editions either, huh?



Avatar of sarahbsarahb
February 1st, 2013  10:43 AM

So he gets to be in Saturday’s papers? I guess that is how he would have liked it.



Avatar of FlossyFlossy
February 1st, 2013  11:53 AM

They should have run an extra edition just for this.



Avatar of RyanRyan
February 1st, 2013  2:42 PM

Too bad you don’t post on weekends.



Avatar of Mr. DotdotdotMr. Dotdotdot
February 1st, 2013  3:50 PM

No one else is flummoxed with the Times not using the Oxford comma?