Every weekday we bring you Live at Five in Five, a series that highlights the most noteworthy events of the day in our fair City.

Who needs an education?  Not the city's youth.  With the adults not being able to agree on anything remotely related to schooling, the kids have turned to learning math by pressing elevator buttons.  Soon they will all be soccer stars as the city is bound to have more soccer fields than schools.  Hurray, progress!  If there is any hope at all, it will be found in a baby gibbon.

The bus strike enters its second day.  In a city rife with so many transportation options, the kids could not find their way to school.

Perhaps it is because millions of dollars are thrown away because adults behave like pesky little children.

Speaking of which, pesky little children in a pathetic attempt to find their way to school have flocked to vertical transportation devices like elevators.  Their pride in being able to count has irritated residents profusely.

The children may not have an education, but at least they will have plenty of options if they opt to become soccer players.  The metropolitan area is on the verge of obtaining three soccer teams because a bunch of adults behave like children.  These are the role models for the city's future.

This is the world a baby gibbon was just born into in the Bronx Zoo.  Good luck little one.  The human savages have you surrounded.